Tuesday, September 16, 2008

From The Secondary Victim - The Rock

As I have posted in the past I had very little support now and throughout this. I have spoke of The Dynamic Duo, the two that were there for me no matter what.

I received this from The Rock, the main secondary victim of The Dynamic Duo. Here is the unedited words from The Rock:

Holy emotional mix.

A month ago I went to the sentencing. As I stated before, I had met the perp briefly earlier this year, now, there he was. Brought into the court room in shackles and in striped jail suit, I did like that touch by the county. I think when one visualizes evil, they expect horns and hooves, and he had none of that at all. For a very, very brief second, I almost felt pity. I then recollected Victoria’s statement of the night of the crime and all feelings of pity left me. He was the object of scorn that he deserved to be again. No contrition, no remorse in him. He didn’t look back at anyone in the courtroom, just sat there with his eyes forward. I was raging, mentally trying to gauge how long the bailiff (armed) would take to react to my coming across and exacting the vengeance I felt upon that sub-human scum.

Then there was Victoria. We waited over 50 minutes from when it was supposed to start until the sentencing started. I was a bundle of nerves. One can only guess what she was going through. Family members were there for a while, but one developed some sort of back ailment and “had” to leave. Damn it people this is your kin, can’t you put your own discomfort aside for her? Apparently not. One did come back with another fam member, so that was a small positive. As I am not known to her family, I had to leave it to them to comfort her. One actually did hug her as she was breaking down, but it took just too long. The pain she was feeling was just too great not to notice. I have no good feelings toward any of them.

We’re coming up on the 4 month mark. Victoria is now fighting her feelings. All, if not most, of the PTSD and RTS sites have a timeline that is fairly common. She is on and a bit ahead of the schedules, but she is stubborn and feels she should be better and farther along in recovery. She’s told me several times that feelings are never wrong. Please realize that. How you feel is how you feel. If it’s good, it’s good. If it’s down, it’s down. You cannot fight how you feel.

I think that I’m doing well with all of this. This is the woman I love and everyday, I’m excited about our time together. She’s a ray of light in my world and it is always like that whether she is up or down. I am happy that I can be here for her. I think that the one of the biggest things that people my situation deal with is our loved one’s feelings of being unworthy. I love her and she is more than deserving of anything that I can give her. She is a beautiful, wonderful woman whom I am lucky to have found. The crime committed against her has in no way diminished who she is and it is up to us as support people to keep that in the mind of our loved ones. Very easy to do since we know the truth about how we feel about our loved ones and telling her that I love her is a great joy of my life.



I believe secondary victims like The Rock are very special people. The Rock has been my strength and I will never forget him.



Victoria Placeo

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