Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Rape Can Make Or Break The Family

When I first started seeing a counselor for the rape she told me rape can "make or break the family." I believed that such a horrible event could make a family closer but never in my wildest dreams did I think it could break it.

I have blogged about my support system before, and explained that my family was not the strongest support, but I still needed them.

I need them now. As one member of my family would say I am holding on to it and it has been over three months I need to let it go. Let it go, let it go?

I agree that I should not be curled up in the fetal position and crying everyday. However, even if I was they should still be there.

Some of my friends stated that they just don't know how to deal with it, so that is why they are not supportive. Others have said that certain members of my family think I am not fun anymore and it would bring them down. Many others have said that certain members of my family are alcoholics and they can't see past that. I DON'T CARE THE REASON, I NEED MY FAMILY!!

Tomorrow it will be three weeks since they called me. They don't know where I live, whom I'm with, and if I am safe an okay. It breaks my heart.

Yeah sure I could call them but throughout this entire rape incident, I have been trying to reach out to them. At one point, I did stop reaching because it seemed to do me more harm then good. I never cut them off though, I answered if they did call an if they emailed, but that has stopped. I feel like what has happened to me has made me a big inconvenience.

There have been two extended family events and my incident was not mentioned but hidden. I actually had to leave one because I got tired of lying about employment and relationships, etc.

I don't want a big production, but for crap sakes one of my family members had a miscarriage and we all knew. So what is the difference, pain is pain, suffering is suffering.

There is a lighter side of the unfortunate lack of family support. Growing up I have always been the bad seed, the odd one. It is now clear to me and thank goodness everyone else involved that they are nutty. Without me even telling others, them just being present, they said my family was off.

I don't like to see it that way, but being in the mental health field for so many years I have seen similar families react the same way. I just never thought it would be my own.

I want my family to care, but I have to allow them to be who they are.

Three weeks tomorrow, I want to see how long it will take for them to wonder if I'm okay.



Victoria Placeo

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