Tuesday, October 7, 2008

To Secondary Victims of Rape - From The Rock

Apparently, during my breakdown Sunday while pleading for help, the Rock wrote his thoughts and I received them in email.

This is what The Rock wrote to other secondary victims of Rape, however I believe it would for any secondary victim of violent crime.

What do you do when there is nothing that you can do?

As secondary victims we are there for our loved one, but there are things that we will just never know. Whether it is the nightmares or flashbacks, these things happen all the time and we are not always present with our loved one. There are going to be times that even though we are always there and supportive, we are still outsiders.

I’m not the type to sit back and let things come to me. I tend to take charge of my situations and work toward a solution. I’m finding now that doing this doesn’t work in this situation. It’s a healing process, but that process takes time and when you have no control over the actions of others i.e. family, victim’s assistance, and unemployment benefits you and I as secondary victims are left with no good explanation, when that explanation is needed.

When it comes down to it, it’s not us that they are upset with; it’s not us that have treated them poorly. We love and support them and have to remember that simple fact. That really is the only that we can do when there is nothing to do.


The Rock has been through it all with me and it is my hope and I am sure his that these words will someday reach other secondary victims of rape or any other crime.


Victoria Placeo



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