Thursday, November 6, 2008

A Great Song To Describe Life After Being Raped

I am having a really rough one here. I think losing the right to vote cracked me. I am obviously still functionally ( for crap sakes I am righting this).

They say your never alone and although there are many people out there in similar situations. You are alone! Below is how it feels, think about it, put yourself in the situation, please.




Now the lyrics from a rape survivors perspective:

I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real

( Although I try not to focus on the pain, there are times when all you have is suffering)
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

(You do try to kill it away, by being productive, redirecting your focus, acting for others to show you are alright. The reality is that everyday, you struggle because your remember the horrific details vividly.)

Everyone I know
goes away In the end

(Friends, Family, Community leave you. Even with a conviction, there is no support, emotionally, mentally, or financially. In fact there is hardly communication. My phone does not ring anymore.)

And you could have it all
My empire of dirt

(Although I am alive which I am grateful for, I have not much left. No home, No Family, No Job, No Security........My empire of dirt.)

Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair

(Bad memories, abandonment, hopelessness, alone thoughts. I do my best to find the positive, it is way more difficult then I ever imagined.)

Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear

(As the time goes on, I do have more and more times of feeling numb. Good, Bad? I don't know.)

You are someone else
I am still right here

(A very powerful lyric. If any of you are suffering or have suffered you know that someone else cannot relate. Although I have asked for help, they are someone else in a happier time. A time I had before the rape. I am still right here unnoticed and ignored.)

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

(I know you can't take back time, but I would. I would have never moved to the little town in 2007. I would have never have payed attention to my surroundings. I would have been my own person away from that community.)


Although your gone Johnny Cash, I am sorry you had to Hurt, and thank you for the song!

Victoria Placeo


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