Thursday, December 4, 2008

I can't plan anything

I posted days ago about future posts I was going to make. I realize that I can not make that kind of planning.

It does not just go for blog posts it goes for everything. As far as blogging goes, early in the day I know what I want to write about. I work on other things and then my emotions change and I find something else to write about. I don't do that either.

Finally, it is the end of the night and I am down and unmotivated and realize I have not written all the things I wanted to....then I feel bad about myself, and a slacker.

I feel I should be stronger and that I will get no where if I let memories, depression, and lack of motivation control me.

I can't stop it. I am doing the right things, it just seems to continue.

I also feel that I can not plan other events. When it comes time, I have anxiety and I never no what my mood will be.

I feel like I should have more control. I just don't seem to right now.

I put intense pressure on myself and by doing that my emotions get worse. The minute things look up I flop to a down patch.

If anyone of you are experiencing this, it is probably normal. I see my counselor tomorrow. She will probably assure me that it is normal. Well, I DON'T LIKE NORMAL!!!!



Victoria Placeo

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