Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I've lost my trust since the rape

My trust is gone. I try to be positive, give people the benefit of the doubt, but something always happens that shatters it.

I am sure I am ultra sensitive to people, I know I am, but very few, if any take into account what has happened to me. They want to see happy, moving forward Victoria. They want to believe she seems okay.

I trusted the organism until it started getting possessive.

I trusted the organism never to harm me.

I trusted my family that in times of crisis they would be there, emotionally, economically, in all ways, but yet they were not.

I trusted my friends, to understand, to have empathy. Not to enable me, but to be that ear, and not right off the bat tell me I needed to move on ( I already knew that)

I trusted the sense of community, that in times of trouble they would help a neighbor.

I trusted my job especially because I worked with victims, to be empathetic and not fire me.

I trusted the state to give me unemployment and to be there during this civil issue.

I gave people the benefit of the doubt upon relocating and was friendly and tried to make conversation. Some of this community are kind, but others are rude, and treat me like I am from a foreign country.

I trusted people to donate a dollar , one dollar, because I need help. Much of what I have done over my 15 years of working, but not one. I am in need economically, although it is getting better, but no one is there.

Of course I appreciate individuals offering advice on where to get aid, but I have tried them and there is nothing.

I need help, I am tired of fighting, I am tired of letting go, I am tired of pretending I am okay, and I am tired of being rejected in my time of need.

I know the date, it is the 9 month anniversary of the rape, I don't forget, 9 months and 20 hours ago I was violently raped, and there is no one.

FOR CRAPS SAKES EVEN CASEY ANTHONY IS GETTING MONEY............ AND I AM A SURVIVOR OF RAPE.........

I need you, God, anyone..............




Victoria Placeo

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