Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Confusion Around Others After Rape

I wrote this the other day when I was surrounded by certain people who shall remain nameless. I believe it gives a good look into how I react to others since the rape.

There is so much confusion around certain people. For example tonight there was a conversation about sociology people being full of it because they act on pure emotion and are not logical.

This conversation reminded me of me because I go up and down with my emotions. Here I am in an emotional mess and trying to step outside the emotion.

I challenged the statement about sociology people, why I don't know. I asked " because the sociology people do not hold your beliefs, they are not logical?" The answer was basically yes.

So I go on and ask " So if they do not fall into your beliefs they are not correct?" Again the answer was yes.

This made me feel a little better because I heard someone say all in one conversation that sociology people are not logical and those that do not fit with this persons belief are not correct.

Now I am not sure but I see something illogical there. With billions of people and beliefs in the world it does not seem logical to make such a statement.

My guess is this person may have known a couple dozen sociology people and formed a belief, a bit narrow minded if you ask me.


Now what does the writing of that night have to do with rape. Well first, it shows that I immediately took offense to someone stating people who are acting with emotion are not logical.

Second, it made me question myself ( a common side effect of being raped), was I being illogical because I still have problems with the rape.

Third, it was someone close to me whom does not acknowledge the rape and for them to be speaking to me in this way, even though not about me, it was awfully cold and thoughtless.

And forth, it showed me that I was healing. I was able to step outside the emotional mess, and evaluate someone who may not be directing things directly at me but was contradictory. With the realization of the contradiction, it seemed to me that they were acting on emotion and not caring whom they may be hurting.

All of that gave me a great understanding of the individual who was not really there for me. From what I learned that night, that individual wants to speak of others emotionally and only the things that are not in their realm of control.

In my case, I was in their realm of control and/or care and they chose to pretend it did not happen. I don't think the sociology people are the ones with emotional non-dealing problems.................YA THINK?


Victoria Placeo


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