Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing - My Last Session

My EMDR Session was today and I must say it was an interesting one. I had to target a rape memory.

What was difficult to me was finding a certain part of the rape that was disturbing. Not because it was a good thing.......(sarcasm there) because when I look back on the rape I remember it factually not emotionally.

My therapist states that perhaps it is a way I cope, and maybe. But I think that I have always had a tendency to look at "bad people" as just people who are very sick. When this happened to me I thought I would perhaps think differently, but I look at the organism as a very sick person.

On to the EMDR.... I picked the one event that was a little emotionally charged. It was right after the rape when the male police officer entered the room in which I was hiding in.

I was scared of him, felt like I did something wrong, embarrassed and in shock. I really don't recall to much about that time in that room but bits and pieces I do.

We started the EMDR session with that memory, I went from fear, to anger with the police officer who pressed charges.

NOTE: My therapists does short sets of back and forth eye movements, she then asks me how I feel and and if any other memories came up. With our next set we started with those.

So we started again with the anger towards the police officer and it branched out into many subjects. Without getting to windy (or to late) I felt anger towards my family,the state, and the state. I also felt fear of the organism, confusion and the need to know if it was a "bad" person, and much more.

The after effects.......I have spoke about fatigue with EMDR, and this one was no exception. I slept for 2 hours between work, after it was over. This was rare for me, since my sleep is not the best.

I also had a very vivid dream about abandonment, and fear. It was another one of those dreams that when you wake up, you can't forget.

I believe I have gone on long enough, however if you would like to ask me more about the EMDR I am going through feel free to email me.


Victoria Placeo

No comments:

Post a Comment