Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Secondary Victim of Rape - Victoria being heard

The Rock, my main secondary victim of rape, sent this to me. Please Read Below:

As we have lived together a point of contention has arisen. That is interrupting. It’s a common occurrence that people do and have had done to others. I am very guilty of that practice. My intent is not to be rude, but it stems from my desire to have the person talking to me know that I am with them in their discussion and to let them know that I understand what they are saying. At least this is my thought on why I do it.

In actuality…. It stems from my know-it-all personality. I tend to devour information which is mostly useless to the general public. I’m a trivia junky and love to be able to tell people, for example the names of the two Muppets in the balcony from the Muppet Show (Statler and Waldorf). These little tidbits of knowledge have given me a false sense that because I know certain things, that I can know it all. In living with a survivor, I’ve really need to watch myself.

That night, Victoria was not heard. It is one of many things that we as secondary survivors need to be aware of as we and our loved one go through the healing process. They need to be heard, they need to be listened to and they need to be loved.



He is so right and I could not ask for a more understanding person to help me through all of this. Thank you!


Victoria Placeo



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