Saturday, October 10, 2009

Raped By Someone You Know or Don't Know

I again was watching Dateline last night, I probably should stop doing that. Last nights episode was about a rapist who raped many woman during usually when it was raining and if they lived near a forest. They could not find the rapist for many years. He was well hidden, and preserved the DNA evidence well.

These woman went on for years not knowing who the rapist was. Being a survivor myself, I know that every rape is different, and has different symptomatic problems afterwards.

However I can help but wonder how these woman felt, not knowing the rapist. I can imagine in my mind that they were wondering with every man that they saw "could that be him"? Not knowing who to fear and who not to.

I knew my rapist and in know way expected such a violent act from him. I know who to look for, what name to type in to find which prison he is located in. I find some safety in that. However, there comes a different sense of distrust by knowing who it is.

Unlike the woman who could really not know who to trust. I knew someone who raped me that I did trust at one time. I learned after the rape that even people you know cannot be trusted. At least that is what I taught myself.

The distrust continued when I lost friends and people I thought would be there for me in a time of hardship. I believe to some extent that if you know your rapist personally at one time or another, that people may be less apt to before you. That of course is speculation but it may be true.

The women that did not know there rapist in this dateline special could not even identify whom not to trust. Knowing the rapist neither could I. What it boils down to I believe is this:

To get through a rape whether you know or do not know the perpetrator is to think of them differently. Put them in a subcatagory of humans.

I see my rapist as a sick person. Someone who needs help and hopefully can get it. If not he must stay behind bars to protect the rest of the world.

When I look at a rapist whether it was mine or someone else's all I see is sickness, a sickness that may never be cured.

By putting them in this subcatagory, I am able to realize that not all are sick and that people can be trusted



Victoria Placeo

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