Friday, October 9, 2009

Seeing People Differently After Rape

I often wonder at times while at work or out and about, what people see when they look at me. Not much I suppose, no different then anyone else. Which is good. However, I have seen some people who have found out that I was raped act a bit differently around me. Not in a negative way, they just seem so cautious.

This has not happened often, but I am not surprised by the response. I am sure people wonder things such as "how violent was it", " was I injured", and even " did it really happen'?

The point of this is not what people think whether they know I was raped or not. The point is that it is really very sad that it would take knowing to perhaps see a change in a person and their attitude towards me.

Since the rape, I see people differently. I have know idea where they have been or what they have been through and I try and keep that in mind. Treating each person with kindness. Of course, I am human and I do judge at times automatically.

When I do judge it seconds but no more then minutes to remember that I don't know this person and what they have been through. I have no right to every judge anyone. I end up beating myself up because if I were to find out one thing, it may change my entire perception of a person.

This goes for negative things as well as positive. However, I am no angel, so if I did find out about a negative issue, event, etc. about another I still would have no place to judge.

Things that occur in life either bring out the positive or negative in a person. I have never walked in another's shoes and they have not walked in mine. The rape was a horrible thing, and I live with the negatives of it often.

What I try to do is take note of these positive things I have learned from it to combat any issues I may have. So far it is working well.

Victoria Placeo

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