Saturday, October 3, 2009

Seeing The Rapist In Other People

There are many issues associated with being raped. One bothersome one that I have been experiencing is seeing the rapist in other people. I am not scared when this happens, it is just a reminder of him and the rape.

I do not see the actual face or form of the rapist like a delusion. I am speaking more of the rapist's features. If I see someone that is broad across the chest, has the same eyes or facial features, or his stalking build. When seeing this features I am instantly reminded.

I see people everywhere and almost weekly I will see some feature that will remind me of the rapist. I hate to even say this, but I am reminded even when I see some children. If a child has eyes like the rapist or other features, I am reminded.

I hate even saying that but it is true. Now I do not believe any child or any one else is the rapist or will be a rapist, they just have features that remind me of the rape.

Seeing a child with similar eyes and then having a memory breaks my heart. I automatically have a memory then scold myself because it is an innocent child and tell myself they have unique features.

Although, this is good to remind myself of the innocence of children and the uniqueness in everyone I see that reminds me of him, I sometimes think the scolding is a bit to hard on myself. None the less I will continue to do it in the case of children.

Someday I hope not to be reminded of him when I see others with similar features. However, currently it is not the case.


Victoria Placeo


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