Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Alcohol And Rape Recovery

For months after the rape, I was drinking alcohol like a fiend, I can't say it was a good idea and did make things much worse I believe. I have very bad dreams, flashbacks, and was hypersensitive.

After gaining 15 lbs, making it through the sentencing, and having a realization that drinking was getting me know where I cut down, I basically quit drinking. Things did improve.

From time to time, I have drank since that realization and each time I have either had some sort of flashback or nightmare. They are not as bad as they used to be but none the less they are still there.

The reason I write this now is as an advisory. Last weekend was Halloween, and although I did not go out on Halloween, I did the night before. I did drink and kept drinking until it was to late, I was drunk.

I had horrible nightmares that night, one flashback (which I don't have many when I am sober), and I slept the entire next day, I felt very depressed.

Although it has been a year and a half, the alcohol still effects my memories and and I believe my recovery. I can't tell if it affects me this way because I was drinking the night of the rape or if it just lowers my defenses.

I guess it really doesn't matter. The point is it does not benefit me in any way. I say I write this as an advisory for those who may be recovering from rape, or any other violent crime.

Not only is there an obvious danger of addiction to alcohol, but it does effect how you view things. Therefore, if you are trying to work through issues it will just set you back.

For me it did not set me back for long. After sleeping all day I felt better and the memories were less pronounced.

I realize it has been a year and a half and as many say you should get over it. It is apparent that I am not. If you are recovering from rape, leave the alcohol alone, not only will you feel much better, but you may have the chance to not set back any progress you have already made.


Victoria Placeo

1 comment:

  1. Reading your most recent post reminds me exactly of me. My r*** happened sounds like about the same time frame as yours. I too have turned to alcohol to numb myself especially when everything (ppl, places, triggers) get so overwhelming. I recently had a friend that told me I was using the alcohol as a "crutch" which I greatly resented. We had gone out together one nite and it was "ok" then next nite I went out but without my friend then suddenly it was not "ok". Actually, it was really never "ok" to begin with. I appreciate your words so much and hope you continue to heal as u so deserve. It's hard to gain the support one needs in dealing with all of this... especially ppl that really understand and "get it". Kat

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