Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Anxiety and Panic After Rape

It has been a long time since I have posted anything here and much has happened during that time. I got sick, hospitalized, and have developed some mental issues since the second anniversary of the rape.

To start, in May of this year I was hospitalized for meningitis, as some might recall the anniversary of my rape was May 18th. After the hospitalization, I began to develop mental issues that I used to struggle with in my teens.

The main mental issues is anxiety and panic attacks. I have had both for years prior to the rape, but now they have become unmanageable. For awhile, I stayed in the house most of the time.

Due to these attacks, I lost hours at work, but did not get fired. I will be subbing in if they need me, and if I can handle it.

Since the meningitis occurred in early May and the second anniversary of the rape occurred in late May, my mind has not been the same. The doctor’s believe that due to the time of year and the meningitis combined that , that is why my anxiety has increased.

I personally think the rape anniversary has nothing to do with it. However, I am not an expert in how one handles PTSD after rape, so I suppose it is possible that the anniversary of the rape could have triggered something.

This anxiety and panic is nothing at all like I have experienced in the past. It is much more intense and unmanageable. I have troubles leaving the house, going into stores, etc. I have no idea what I am afraid of, I can’t seem to pinpoint anything.

I have tried to think of what associated with the rape, could cause me to have such attacks. I don’t feel afraid of people, I don’t believe anyone is out to get me. Yet still I have such issues with anxiety and panic.

I have stopped doing EMDR, which I am considering getting back into, and am now seeing a therapist that is going to assist me with learning cognitive behavioral therapy techniques, hopefully that will help.

I have also been working through different books that assist with calming ones self and focusing on the now, but nothing seems to work. I am struggling badly and I never would have thought that such symptoms from the rape would occur so long after the rape.

So in summary, I got sick, I lost hours at work, I am suffering from severe anxiety, and I don’t know how to fix it. Since this may be associated with the rape, I will continue to write posts.

I am writing for anyone who may be or has gone through the same things, perhaps I can help them or they can help me with ideas.


Victoria Placeo

2 comments:

  1. Hi Victoria
    I'm a 36 year old woman who was raped (god it scares me to even use the word!)on Friday 9th July 2010 and am just starting on this big long road to recovery. Right now I feel very little but I know that will change soon! Thank you for sharing your experiences on your blog, it is lovely to read a story of a true survivor. I've been feeling scared about what's ahead but it's wonderful to read your honest experiences with no sugar coating. Thank you for sharing this with us all..
    Love Siobhan
    Siobhan

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  2. It happened to me late August 2011. I also had anxiety previously, now it is much, much worse and frequent. I have frequent panic attacks. At least they are not every day now. I take daily anxiety medication. I think it helps a little. I also meditate. I think that is helping a lot. I have read articles about how mindfulness meditation helps with PTSD. I did it before the attack and have had a hard time getting back to it. Now I meditate for a minute a day. Moving back into it slowly.

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