Friday, July 23, 2010

Family Of A Rape Victim

I don’t like to use the word victim to often, I see myself and others as survivors, however, it just seemed fitting here. In past posts I have focused on my family relations since the rape and how they have been less then supportive.

I intend in this post to focus once again on secondary victims of rape such as families with an open mind, but a word of caution for those secondary victims. That word of caution is don’t pretend it did not happen, or don’t forget it.

When I say I will write with an open mind, I am mostly referring to just my family as that is my only point of reference.

My family pretends nothing happened, they have even made rape jokes around me. These jokes were not directed at me, and when they realized what they were doing they stopped, but none the less, it was wrong.

The only way I can stay open minded about my family in regards to the rape, is that it is my hope that they just did not know and still don’t know how to deal with a rape survivor.

While it is true, one should not be sheltered and enabled for the rest of their life because they were raped, that does not mean that it should be forgotten and the survivors feeling should not be kept in mind.

For example, right now as I have written in past posts, I am having an extremely hard time with anxiety and panic. My therapists believe it is due to the rape, and it could be. While I should not be enabled my family should try to understand that perhaps life is not the same for me anymore and that I need to cope differently. It was my hope that they would realize this, but my family doesn’t work that way.

They are good people, they just don’t like to deal with the bad. I come from a well off family and perhaps it is a tarnish on their fun lifestyle that I was raped. I really don’t know what they are thinking nor do I think I will ever.

I just wish they would realize some things but I don’t think anything to do with the rape dawns on them, perhaps it is because it did not happen to them.

My one main wish is that my parents will realize that I won’t be coming to visit them where they live for a quite some time when the organism is released. If I am correct, it will move back to where the rape occurred, which is where my family lives.

I have gone on long enough but if you are a secondary survivor of a rape victim please remember, don’t forget they were raped, because they never will.


Victoria Placeo


1 comment:

  1. You're right, I completely agree. Ive had problems with my friends forgetting and telling the odd rape joke here and there, which hurts like hell. I never say anything but boy it has a massive impact.

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