Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Shock After Rape

I recall the shock I had in the days and months following the rape. However, when speaking with my counselor the other day, she suggested that perhaps I was still in shock on and after the year anniversary.

As some might recall, I wrote a post entitled “Anxiety and Panic After Rape. In that post I discuss what a hard time I am having right now with anxiety and panic attacks.

I am having much harder time since the second anniversary of the rape with mental health issues then I was during the first year. For this reason my counselor made that suggestion that I may still be in shock.

I have thought about this suggestion at length, and I am not sure if my anxiety and panic has gotten worse because of the rape or not. Most of me leans towards the idea that it is not the rape that is causing the problems, but then I wonder what is?

I suppose it is possible that I was so busy with coping with the rape, the deposition, the legal matters, etc. that I did not have time to heal properly and now my mind is vomiting out everything that it did not have a chance to in the past.

I don’t know if I will actually ever know why I am having such a hard time now. What I do know is that it is extremely hard to get back on my feet and I was better off a year ago.

Victoria Placeo

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