Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Third Anniversary of Rape and More

The 3 year anniversary of the rape was last month and I meant to write on that day, in fact I meant to write on many days but as you can see I have not. I want to first address the anniversary (yes I use that word now) and the “more” part.

The first anniversary of the rape was hard, the second seemed ok, but this one was the worst so far. Many say think of other things, forget about it etc. but it will always stick out in my mind. I believe this anniversary (still hate to use the word for such a cruddy event) was more difficult because in theory the rapist release date is next year, which just means it keeps creeping closer and closer. If you may recall which I doubt you do, he was sentenced to 10 years, got time served so it was knocked down to four.

Another reason I believe this rape anniversary was so difficult is because he is up for parole next month so we will see what happens.

Moving on to the more part, I really do not know where to start. There have been so many things that have prompted me to write, but I didn’t. So many things that crept into my mind that I thought others may have or are experiencing that I wanted to share, but did not. Many different things that are going on with me that I intend to share that may be coincidental, but for me and others in my life believe it is a side effect of rape.

I originally started this blog to get my angries out and share my hurt and experiences. Looking back at the posts at times I really did not make much sense, redirected my anger onto other things, and some were downright ridiculous. That being said it was what I was feeling at the time and that is all the matters. I wanted this blog simply to vent and help others.

I feel bad that I did not continue to document how things were going, but things are what they are, and now I still have issues that may be side effects of the rape or rape related. I will continue on, I know anyone who has been raped or victim to violent crime will never feel exactly how another feels, but I still need to vent and I have gotten some great emails (and really crass and rude ones) that have said I had helped others just letting them know there was someone else who felt that way.

I will be blogging again during this hopefully final year (not final month) before the person (yes I say person instead of organism now) gets out of jail. I will continue to blog on with things that are related to the rape as well.

The loneliness of rape is hard and I would have never guessed that one could have so many side effects even if they are not thinking of the rape consciously.

Victoria Placeo

3 comments:

  1. If you don't want to answer i understand, but why do you now call him person instead of organism?

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  2. If you don't want to answer this i understand, but why do you refer to him as "person" instead of "organism"?

    Oh, and don't beat yourself up over not posting :)

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  3. I think you should keep writing...I think it helps process the pain, anguish, and anxiety. Please keep writing...it helps all of us who have been through this. I applaud you for dealing with it...it took me a long time to even call it what it was - "Rape."

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