Illness after Rape

I have been meaning to continue my series on Secondary Survivors Not Understanding and I will however since that post in August I have not been well at all.

To be perfectly honest I have not been in the best of health since the rape that is one reason it is so imperative that I post about Illness after rape so if just by chance others are sick after trauma, sexual assault, or rape.    

While my rape may not be the exact cause of my illness (which is unknown at the moment) during this time of sickness I have discovered a few things that I thought I would share.

First off a brief synopsis, of course as many know I was raped in 2008 and was dealing with many things.  I was not completely well both physically and mentally.  In May of 2010 I came down with viral meningitis, with the meningitis for about 7 to 10 days but have not been completely well since.  Everything from fatigue, rashes, diarrhea, etc.  After the meningitis I had a positive Lyme disease test and a positive West Nile virus test, I was treated for both but both the titers came back negative, so the doctors said I did not have either and they were a false positives.

I have had test after test done since May 2010 to check different areas they all came back fine.  My doctor at the time was going to send me to Mayo.  It was recommended to me to switch clinics to see if a better one (according to many) could find out more before going to Mayo, so I did.  This clinic does focus on the normal stuff but also practices functional medicine.  I am not a doctor so just click the Wiki link and it will tell you more about functional medicine.

Since I have been on and off (more on than off) sick since the rape and much worse since the meningitis the new clinic doctors have done many tests and I do trust them, which is rare.  I realize doctors are busy and have many pressures, so patient/doctor time is not what it used to be.

What is interesting is that my psychologist, my doctor that prescribes my mental health medication (which by the way I am off all but one now ……….YAY!)  and my medical doc and chiropractor (just started seeing one in August of this year, due to recommendation, my first time, very interesting), do not think that I have many mental health issues (although there are still a few creeping around:), they all think it is physical.  Long story short (too late), I am down to two tests left that they may think may be the culprits Lyme disease and adrenal fatigue/cortisol test.

I had to cover a little history but now onto the main stuff - adrenal fatigue and rape.  Some of my doctors seem to think that possible due to the stress from the rape and meningitis that my adrenal glands might be shot and may be the cause of my odd but debilitating symptoms.  To read more about it go to adrenal fatigue on Wiki.

While there can definitely be no science to pinpoint if the stress of the rape can lead to illness (at least in one my situation) , I wonder could it have put me through so much that my body was tired out.  Also, add in a little meningitis and we have bad cocktail.

So yesterday I had a cortisol test to see if my adrenal glands are functioning properly.  The Cortisol stim test is a bit long but not bad.  They draw blood, then inject cortisol, wait 30 minutes draw again, then wait another thirty minutes and draw again and done. 

I thought this was important to share because as many know stress can be the cause of many illnesses.  The trauma of rape is a huge stressor and could in fact, in my mind anyway, weaken the immune system and perhaps make you more susceptible to many things.  In fact while reading up on adrenal gland problems a trauma is on many of the lists of things that can shake your adrenal glands up.

I should find the results of the Cortisol test on Wednesday or Thursday of this week so I will keep you posted, however if anyone had any information on illness after being raped or adrenal fatigue after rape I would love to hear about it!

Victoria Placeo

Secondary Survivors Not Understanding Rape – Part 1

After all these years I have come to a full understanding that secondary survivors have a hard time understanding the Rape.  Secondary survivors by definition (I think, I am not a huge researcher)  include family, friends, etc.  Just in the last three months I have four incidents that show that they do not understand.  

Now I realize that is a broad statement and I by no means mean to speak about all secondary survivors of rape, just my own.  However, I find it hard to believe any could understand someone’s rape or other violent crime fully, if they had not experienced it themselves.  For example, I would never be able to understand being held hostage for days or years.  Just like every rape and violent act against anyone, while there are many similarities everyone has a different set of circumstances.

Off on a rant I went, now onto the point.  As I mentioned I have had four incidences in the past three months with family that shows that my rape may not be that important to them or then just do not give a crap, at least that is how I feel.  Now I will describe one incident here and then do the rest of the incidents in other parts.  You can tell me if I am being too sensitive.

As many know and most do not I do not live in the town that the rape occurred anymore.  However, one of my family members has many friends there and does visit there often which is fine.  About two months ago I was chatting with that family member and she said she was going to go boating with one of her friends friends there in that town.

She told me the name of that friend’s friend because he had the last name of the man that raped me.  It turns out it is the brother of the man that raped me.  I was immediately affected by this and did not want my family member (this is my immediate family) hanging out with him.

I asked her if now that she knew it was my rapist’s brother if she would still hang out with him and she said yes.  I WAS CRUSHED! 

I felt hurt, betrayed, disrespected, unimportant, etc.  I really could not believe it.  I was also a bit worried about her hanging out with him due to the fact that she may eventually start to hang out with my rapist when he gets released.  I mean that is not too farfetched I think, if she does not care to hang out with a family member of his then why not him? 

Then I began to think maybe I was out of line feeling that way…..

While it is true that just because the man she is going to hang out with is my rapist brother does not make him a bad person.  I know that the brother had nothing to do with it, but it still cuts like a knife.

I thought my own family members would at least have enough respect to not be involved with my rapist’s family. 

I WANT TO KNOW AM I OUT OF LINE FEELING THIS WAY?

Victoria Placeo

Male Rape

I have never written about male rape before except a bit about prison rape.  My writing about prison rape had to do with not wanting my rapist to get raped in prison even though he did it to me.

I guess one reason that i have not written about male rape or male rape victims is because this was my blog about my experiences.  After watching the video below I realized that by only focusing on myself and my experiences I may me doing a great disservice to the readers.

I have talked often about others taking a minute to put themselves in a rape survivors shoes to help support them.  However, I have never done that myself when it comes to male rape victims.  Regardless of gender rape is there and it can throw off ones life completely.

So when I came across this video and saw the male rape victim statistics I thought WOW, here I am, just writing about me (which is really what this blog was meant to be) and thinking how selfish of me to not even touch on male rape.

My rapist was a male, he did something bad to me, however I would never want him to get raped in prison or anywhere else.  Beside the point really....this is a great video which briefly covers a male rape victim story and male rape in general. 

I hope you all can get something out of it like I did!

Victoria Placeo