Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The Rapist Has Been Paroled

UPDATE: Was going to post you see below last week, just got notice he has been released to community.  A lot of emotions going on I will write about them when I am ready.  Emotions I thought I would not feel………


I realize the title of this post sounds nasty but it is the most straight forward way to entitle the post.

Shortly after I wrote The Year Of The Rapists Release I gotta letter notifying me of his upcoming parole hearing.  I was going to write about that then but obviously did not, in the post I planned to write about the letter and the decision I was trying to make between attending the hearing or not, I did decide not to.  The parole date came and as expected he was paroled (which does not mean out of prison yet).  The feelings I had at the time I heard the news were odd, I was not shocked nor scared, I knew it was coming, however I do remember thinking how the years went so fast.

After getting notified I realized there were things I needed to know and take care of.  I wanted to know when he was getting out, what were his rules, do I have or could I get a restraining order?  To my surprise (kinda) the different areas of the justice system had very vague answers and I had to jump from one department to another trying to get them.

I actually got one letter from one department that stated his release was “in the near future.”  Of course I wondered in my usual way “what the beep does that mean.”  When I phoned to find out they stated anywhere from tomorrow to 5 months down the road, that was certainly reassuring (sarcasm).  I had no idea (and of course never wanted too) know about all the red tape and getting around the system to find out what you want to know, I have learned that if many departments are involved it can be a wee bit time consuming.

There is quite more I could go into in regards to all the different information I received but in short I have finally found out that his release from prison should be within the next 30 to 60 days.
Sooo, how do I feel?  Well as I have mentioned in past posts somewhere the way I think of it when people come out of prison there is a 50/50 chance.  They may come out never wanting to get in trouble again or may come out with a vengeance. Either way I try not to focus on that much because I cannot control what he decides to do or how he decides to behave, all I can do is be prepared to the best of my ability either way, proactive so to speak.

One of the more disturbing things about it that I briefly eluded to in a post entitled Secondary Survivors Not Understanding Rape – Part 1 (of which I was going to do more parts to, and may still) is that family and friends seem to not be concerned (of course it is not their life) but many do not even bother to ask how are you doing with it?  Perhaps I can understand the not being concerned but at a time where a major life change is happening (not necessarily one you would jump for joy over) it would be nice for them to at least ask how things are going.  In fact, they do not even mention it, like it is not happening, while I realize many people do not consider what others are going through or do not bring it up is because they just do not know what to say, it would not hurt to just say hey how ya doing with all of this.

While it is always important for others not to enable anyone who has been through a tough event that does not mean human kindness goes out the window. At least that is my opinion anyway. 

So basically after that little rant above what I am trying to say is that as I have stated before, the issue of others not having any sympathy/empathy, even just enough to be kind, makes things tougher.  I do not want to be babied; I do not want anything elaborate, just a kind word.  This does not include everyone of course but for the most part there has been few to care.

There is as always more to say on this and other issues in regards to what has and is happening but this post is getting a little lengthy and if anyone is like me, short to the point posts seem to be easier for me and I am more than happy to wait for the next one.

Victoria Placeo


Monday, July 2, 2012

Survival Quote

Found This and Liked IT!!